Posts Tagged ‘germany’

It’s been some time since I’ve written about me.  I tend to avoid the subject, as it’s a bit hard to admit my faults.  But I promised myself that I would work through this semi-publically here and I wanted to share some of what is going on.

My doctor has prescribed household help.  That means there is a woman who comes in daily for 6 hours to help me learn how to balance everything.  Thankfully, she was also here while I was on bedrest and both Bubba Joe and Little Girl love her (as well as our 2 little doggies).  And if you remember, she is the one I didn’t like initially when I was pregnant because I felt I was being replaced.

Surprise, surprise.  I like her.

She gets me.

We’re becoming friends.

We spoke a few weeks ago and she commented that she could see how the day was going to go by whether or not I brought the children down and went back to bed.  She suggested I speak with my doctor.  I did.  He doubled my meds.

We go for walks almost daily.

I’ve learned so much more about this little city of Dülmen in the past few weeks than I had learned on my own for nearly 2 years.

We grab ice cream in the city or a salad.

We’re walking so much that not only am I completely out of maternity clothing (I have been since 3 months pp) but I weigh less than I did before I got pregnant and am FINALLY back in the new Gap jeans I bought last summer when visiting Ohio.  YEAH!!!

I am showering daily.  And while you may not realize how hard that might be, trust me when I tell you that finding energy to care for me has taken time.  As a mom, I *have* to take care of Little Girl and Bubba Joe.  And then I am supposed to find the time to take care of the house, laundry, dishes, food, groceries, etc.  And then there’s the dogs that have to be let out and well, it would be nice if they got some attention every once in a while.  And then there’s BJD – who while he’s a patient guy (dude would have to be to stay with me for 10 years!), he’s been feeling a bit neglected.  He doesn’t have to say it.  I just know.

So on top of all that, I am supposed to find the time to take care of me.

And this lovely illness, this PPD, tries to convince me that it is impossible to do and perhaps, just perhaps, it is better to just stay in bed all day and let our household help do it all.

But life doesn’t work that way, does it?

Since upping my meds, I have found a new me.  I feel better.  I feel more compelled to take responsibility for things that are, well, MY responsibility.  I feel committed to myself – and that’s huge.

I *want* to do these things.  I *want* to be a hausfrau.  I *want* to look good and feel good and be good.

It’s still hard, but it’s getting easier.

Except for today.

BJD was out of the country for 3 days.  Our household help stayed longer during the day.  Bubba Joe spent the night at Oma and Opa’s.  We organized things beautifully.  I handled things well.

And then he came home last night.  And I exhaled.  And today, he’s home and I relaxed.  I leaned on him because I can.

Today was not a bad day.  It just wasn’t a stellar day.  But I like having BJD home.

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We’re enjoying seeing the sights with my nieces and nephew (and sister too!).  This week, we visited the Museum für Naturkunde in Münster.  It was priced okay (we purchased a family pass plus one adult for about 15€) and Bubba Joe loved seeing all the dinosaurs!

Here’s some pics to enjoy!

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Bubba Joe and his cousins had their nails done this week.

I was painting the girls’ nails – something we always do together, and Bubba Joe wanted his painted too … what do you think?

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Today was classic German weather – rain and cold.  Followed by bursts of blue and sunshine, only to be reminded again that we are indeed in Germany … more rain and grey.

In spite of the weather, we ventured out to Burg Vischering (pronounced berg fisher ring) in Lüdinghausen.

We’ve been there before … in fact, we go there with every visitor (excepting mom – we just didn’t have time with her).  It was gorgeous and the children all had fun.

Here’s some pictures … enjoy!

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