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Archive for July, 2010

I started knitting as an attempt to, cough, save money.

You see, we started cloth diapering with Bubba Joe.  After doing tons of research, my head was spinning with all the different options out there.  My LLL leader back in Ohio told me that she kept it simple – prefolds and covers.  I took it one step further and went prefolds and wool (rather than plastic pants).

Bubba Joe was CD’d (crunchy mama talk for cloth diapered – though really I don’t consider myself a crunchy mama.  I mean, how can I be crunchy with chanel makeup and a nature requirement of 4 stars before I stay somewhere?  I mean, bugs are meant to be outside, in their habitat, not inside in mine, right?)

Now where was I?

Oh yeah, knitting.  And poop.  Cause well, that’s what diapers are for.

I loved  using prefolds with Bubba Joe.  Yeah, yeah, I tried a few other types of cloth diapers (my shopping addiction has sadly not gotten any better – it only had a new direction which later changed direction yet again … but we’ll get to that).

And we started using prefolds with Giant Baby (who BTW is not really a giant baby – in fact, she’s quite petite and full of spit!  Damn that girl knows what she wants!) when she was a few months old.  The problem is I hated the fit of the plastic pants – and while they’re generally 1000 times better than what I knew as a kid (or teenager babysitting), they still felt, well, blah.

I paid beaucoup bucks to have some wool pants knit.  Then I got screwed so I decided to learn to knit. Which kicked.my.ass.  Bigtime.

I couldn’t believe that such a simple concept – two sticks and some string – could turn into something so gorgeous, or in my case, something that somewhat resembled a blob.

But with the support of BJD, I sat and sat and sat.  And for me, patience was never one of my strengths.  Sitting and trying again and again – also not a strength of mine.

You see, I have a problem (well, we know I have many but let a girl talk, okay?).  I am naturally very good at many things.

As I shared in my last post, I was a music major.  I started piano at the age of 3.5.  I taught myself the french horn (which no, you never wanted to hear me play) and the trombone – which I rocked (and now my nieces are rocking).  I also learned the cello and the organ while in college.  Music came easily for me.

As did many things.

Sports – nah.  Not so much.  But I attribute that more to the fear of breaking a finger – something that would have traumatised me and has scared me since, well, the age of 3.

Science was never a strength – until that boy I mentioned in my last post dumped me.  Then I decided to pursue a minor in geology just so I could be in the science building with him.  I surprised myself with how well I did and seriously considered a geology major – were it not for the additional years it would have added.

Back to knitting.

I am consistently surprised at myself.  At my knitting.  Not to brag (but I guess I am – I mean, this is my blog all about me) but I have proudly tested designs for designers, knit gifts for friends, knit for a charity auction and will even knit a beautiful wrap for my lovely friend who is getting married.

I am damned proud of myself.

And my depression … well, having something tangible that is not just made by me, but pretty AND usable … that seems to be working better than any medication.

BJD is on vacation for the next 2 weeks.

Let’s see how much knitting I can accomplish.

Yay!

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It is strange to me to think that what I used to think, what I perceived as my life at a certain point in time, just might not have been what I thought.

I recently had a dream about an ex-boyfriend.  This particular ex broke my heart in a tremendous way.  But in this dream, he said he always loved me (in spite of having told me when we broke up that he never did).

What I find strange about this dream was that in reality, he broke up with me with no warning, no signs, no nothing. And he did it through my mom.

Hey, we were young.  What can I say???

I asked my mom about this and her only memory of this breakup was that his father thought we were too serious and didn’t want us together anymore.

My perception at that time was that I wasn’t good enough, that I was ugly, that I was mean-spirited and that I was undeserving of him (or anyone).  Hence, after that breakup I went, well, a bit wild.  (and in my opinion, that wildness was the reason I ended up needed an additional 1.5 years in undergrad to finish my degree).

But since this dream, and my mom’s subsequent comment, I realize that my perception of that time in my life just might have been wrong.

Which makes me wonder just how often my perception is off in general.

As you know, I am a bit of a knitting freak now.  I couldn’t say that 12 months ago, but I can with 110% confidence say that knitting is a part of my life, as music is (for those of you who don’t know, my undergrad was applied music – with a concentration in piano).

I will end with a quote from a book I am reading (as Giant Baby is DEMANDING my attention – she is quite a bit like me, isn’t she?):

The act of knitting provides comfort in times when life weighs the most.  Even grreat women found that their needles and their yarn provided succor.

– Adrienne Martini in Sweater Quest

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