Archive for April 8th, 2010


Sometimes it seems as though I am wandering, wondering where that point was that my life changed.

Sure, there are the major events – graduations, deaths, births.

But when did it all fall apart?

When did the weight become apparent?

Sometimes I sit and my mind is elsewhere.  I have found myself angry with no cause for it nor words to express it.  (I, of course, being one who once I can find the words, the anger tends to be released and I can move forward.)

I find myself wondering, pondering, thinking and when I try to put into words what those thoughts are I can’t.

There are no words for how I feel.  Bits and pieces of words describe some of it, but there is no “aha!” word that I can verbally say and let these feelings pass.


Giant Baby is 1.  Bubba Joe turns 4 in a few weeks.

We purchased bikes 2 weeks ago.  The first weekend, I fell – hurt my knee but xrays showed it was just bruised.

I am eating dairy again – Giant Baby seems to be tolerating it well.

BJD is travelling lots for work.  I am very proud of his ability to balance (or try to) home and work.

I am very homesick.  I miss the smell of my mom.  The feeling of my sister’s presence.  The knowledge that I am around people who get me and know how to push my buttons without saying or doing anything.

I miss life.

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