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Archive for April, 2010

With each and every project, I try to learn something new, either a new way to bind off or to learn to listen to my hands when they fall numb (that good ole beast called car pal tunnel has come back to visit).

And not every project that I start is finished.  Many don’t make it past the first few rows before I either change my mind about the pattern or just don’t “feel” the yarn and pattern are “fitting”.

Here are some of my recent finished objects:

and a picture of Giant Baby, during one of her first “grass” experiences.

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Knitting

Knit, purl, purl, knit.

I have taken to knitting quite well.

I have made new friends – knitting friends.

I am a bit of a yarn snob (100% wool please, preferably hand-dyed or hand-spun or both) and only use addis.

I am addicted to knitting.  To the planning, the thinking, the learning, the studying, the entire process.

I enjoy reading books about knitting.  I enjoy buying yarn – online.  And I really do like searching through ravelry’s many many patterns with no idea of who or what I want to knit and finding inspiration.

I have gone from barely managing to hold my needles for more than 30 seconds without my hands nearly freezing in their death grip to being called a loose knitter by my snb partner.   (Unlike other aspects of life, looseness in knitting is good.  And while I am loose, I am also consistent – I’ve been told that is hard to do.)

I will be taking pictures soon of my progress.  In learning to knit, I have also learned how best to photograph and document my creations.  I hope you will enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed creating them.  But for now, my dears, you will have to be that which knitting is continually trying to teach me – patient.

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Thoughts

Sometimes it seems as though I am wandering, wondering where that point was that my life changed.

Sure, there are the major events – graduations, deaths, births.

But when did it all fall apart?

When did the weight become apparent?

Sometimes I sit and my mind is elsewhere.  I have found myself angry with no cause for it nor words to express it.  (I, of course, being one who once I can find the words, the anger tends to be released and I can move forward.)

I find myself wondering, pondering, thinking and when I try to put into words what those thoughts are I can’t.

There are no words for how I feel.  Bits and pieces of words describe some of it, but there is no “aha!” word that I can verbally say and let these feelings pass.

°°°°°°°°

Giant Baby is 1.  Bubba Joe turns 4 in a few weeks.

We purchased bikes 2 weeks ago.  The first weekend, I fell – hurt my knee but xrays showed it was just bruised.

I am eating dairy again – Giant Baby seems to be tolerating it well.

BJD is travelling lots for work.  I am very proud of his ability to balance (or try to) home and work.

I am very homesick.  I miss the smell of my mom.  The feeling of my sister’s presence.  The knowledge that I am around people who get me and know how to push my buttons without saying or doing anything.

I miss life.

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